Wednesday, August 1, 2012

How to Survive A Public School Visit

If, for any reason, this post is published on the site before August 1, 2012, at 12:00 PM Pacific Daylight Time, this must be restored to a draft until such a time arrives. If this notice is bothering you, and you are reading this after the date posted above, deal with it.

Originally, I was going to explain what I thought about the federal government. However, I came to the following conclusions:

1. I'm tired of posting about it, as demonstrated by my June/July posts on vsConformity.
2. The public school subject seemed popular enough here.
3. I still have one scheduled turn left to post, and don't have any other ideas for it yet.

So, most American public schools will be opening this month. If you, for any reason, have to go inside, it might seem a bit daunting. Luckily, I have this quick guide right here on how to handle it.

As A Guest

Let's say you need to visit a public school to run an errand. Keep the following things in mind.

1. Sign up at the front office. Look around for signs pointing to it. In the unlikely event that security or staff stops you along the way, ask for directions to the front office and comply with orders security might give you.
2. Follow the instructions the front office gives you for guests. If you have to wear a nametag, wear it visibly.
3. Be respectful of student and teacher schedules when visiting classrooms - you wouldn't want to interrupt anything terribly important.
4. Don't snoop. Most public schools don't hide torture rooms behind janitor's closets, so you have no need to worry about anything like that. You wouldn't want to get any funny looks, or worse - get kicked out before you finish your errand.
5. Don't stay any longer than you need to. 'Nuff said.

As A Parent

If, for some strange reason, you, as a parent, have decided to send your own flesh-and-blood to a public school (I'm just being dramatic. I kid. In actuality, this is probably one of the best available options at this time, depending on the school.), here's what you should do in case Junior forgets his lunch.

1. Keep the Guest steps in mind.
2. Report to the front office, and see what the policy is for forgotten items. Sometimes the office will deliver a package to a student for you - other times, you have to do it yourself.
3. If you have to enter your kid's classroom, do so quickly. Give your kid his lunch, and leave before you make too much of a scene. (Also, don't draw any more attention to yourself and your child than you absolutely must - you can tell your kid you love him at a later date. In actuality, it probably isn't a big deal, but just to be on the safe side...)
4. Once you're done, leave. You have no further business within the prison facility.

As A Student From Another School

Let's say you have the day off, but your poor friend at Public High School or whatever doesn't. Keep the following things in mind when you come to visit.

1. Go to the front office and sign in.
2. If they ask you to scram, scram. Some schools have policies about student visitors.
3. Try to come at a reasonable time, like right before your friends lunch shift (so you can join him for lunch), or right before school ends (so you can escort him out).
4. Find your friend, and don't lollygag or act like one of that school's students.
5. Don't interrupt any classes. This is especially crucial for student visitors.

As A Student

Be careful. That is all.

I hope this post helps if you ever have to set foot within...wait! I forgot the warnings!

IMPORTANT WARNINGS

1. The hallways may fill suddenly when a bell rings. Watch out for pushy crowds.
2. Do not open any janitors' closets, just in case there really is a torture room inside.
3. Don't use the restrooms - they probably stink to high heaven.
4. Don't touch any lockers - someone might think you are attempting to break in.
5. It is imperative that you focus on your errand/mission and not lollygag.
6. Don't call a public school a prison in the face of any of the staff. Ever.
7. Did I mention don't use the restrooms?

Okay, that should do it. Be sure to visit my blog (here's the link again). Also, +1 and comment here.

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I'm Caleb Grove

Yep, that's me. I'm a 17 year old web unicorn and own OnRamp Web Design. My skill base is quite broad, though my real focus lies in UX and UI design for the web. When it comes to designs, I'm a perfectionist, scooting 1 pixel at a time.

My main blog captures all my web-related thoughts that exceed 140 characters. Anson S is my personal blog, where I pander in politics and religion. You can tweet me on Twitter at @SirCalebGrove, circle me on , or friend me on Facebook.

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